Toxicity Unraveled
Toxicity is the degree to which a substance can harm humans or animals. Chronic toxicity is the ability of a substances or a mixture to cause harmful effects over an extended period of time, usually upon repeated or continuous exposure, sometimes lasting for the entire life of exposed organism. Half of the time we are not aware that we are in toxic relations, We only get to know about it after all the breaking and damages.
I have been asked the question of how to tell when someone or something is toxic, however, they are Toxic traits that aid you to understand when something is not good for you and it will break you in the long run no matter how much you want to help. Some of these traits are;
Manipulation: this is a devious influence especially for ones own advantage. It’s their way or the high way and if you try to oppose them then you don’t love them or care for them. You can’t do things in your own way because you’re scared to hurt their feelings or don’t want to be in bad books with them. Always Finding yourself in a predicament of no say.
Judgemental: being assessed and criticized in all that you do. There’s no right way of you doing something. You’re never right and even when you are, you can’t get a compliment without a negative meaning to it.
Irresponsible: They take no responsibilities including their own feelings rather they will project it on you and if you try to confront them about it, you’ll find yourself in a situation where they vehemently defend their perspective. Making you see things from their perspective and you’re the one in the wrong.
No Apologies: This does not come easy because they don’t see any reason to, Its always someone else’s fault. They have a way of orchestrating relationships to serve their own needs, try to gain sympathy and attention claiming the “victim” status.
Inconsistency: They may have different behaviours, attitude, perspective depending on what they feel they need to accomplish at the time and this makes it hard to know who you’re dealing with because they are often not the same person. They know how to be kind when they want something from you. Talking to you depends on their mood
Always the Choice: putting you in difficult dynamics of divide and conquer even to a point of requiring you to cut off other meaningful relationships to satisfy themselves. Toxic people make you choose them over someone else or them wanting something over something you want.
Argumentative: Remember they are supreme manipulators without knowing it. In arguments or confrontations, they lose focus on the topic and start stating the problems like your tone, your words basically diverting they’re focus on how you’re discussing an issue
No support/care/interests: they don’t do all this in fact, the good that happens to you moves attention away from them making you an enemy in their head. Loyalty is foreign to them.
Narcissistic: Trying to gain total control of everything including you. This behaviour may try to isolate you from others you’re close to. Demanding more from you than you can’t give and them needing excessive admiration
Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problem. They want you to feel sorry for them because life has been unfair and you’re their knight and shinning armour. Once you have helped them with their cries, its inevitable another one will surface such as suicide when you threaten to leave. Toxic people drain you emotionally, you always have to take care of their business. You may find that the toxic people are very close to us, spouse, neighbours, friends, workmates and it is a continuous thing making it a chronic toxicity.
But Everybody has the capacity to change with time, admitting they need help, someone to talk to and prayers.
