Self Love
So many times do we come across the question, “who are you?”. The answers come according to who is asking and the purpose of the question. But do you really know who you are?
Not knowing who you really are can disrupt belief, faith and focus in the sense that you can easily be swayed. In other cases, one becomes clingy, depressed, feeling unloved, confused, easily disappointed etc. Generally, if you don’t know who you are, opinions and deeds of people get to have a place in your mind. Self awareness is the key to unlock beautiful teaching such as self love, self care, self growth and so on and so forth.
Discovering who you are is a day to day activity just like learning never stops because we change with time, it being the human body or character. Change is inevitable but because of Human nature, it is perceived to be hard. It needs an open mind and the level of focus.
Self Love is sometimes mistaken for selfishness, there’s a fine line between the two. Self love starts from within. We have high rates of divorce because we think if we love someone else it will fill the void inside us. On the contrary, it makes the void deeper not knowing that You can’t offer love if you don’t have it. This is a human necessity that people fall short of. How to know you have no self love in oneself; low self esteem, low gratitude level, settling for less without knowing, unhappy by yourself, always needing company, self torture (physically hurting oneself in the name of pleasurable pain, mentally speaking bad to yourself, how you don’t deserve better).
Self love can mean something different to every individual because we have different ways to take care of ourselves. The first step is to Stop comparing yourself to others; the progress in your life is where you’re supposed to be and when you accept this, you invite peace and comfort. Second step is to End worrying about people’s opinion; Society expects something from you but you can’t make everyone happy. Funny thing about society is that they will get to talk even if you’re doing the right thing. Third thing, Forgive and allow yourself to make mistakes; There’s a certain pressure adulthood puts on you especially above 21, something is expected of you and no mistakes required. Embrace that you are human and bound to make mistakes. Forgive yourself for the times you were in the wrong, stop replaying scenarios that you can’t change, its past. Fourth step, Understand your Value; every person has talent, gifts, intelligent to a certain level. We are made to compliment each other meaning you have something that someone is in need of. Figure it out what you have to offer and validate it. Let go of anything or anyone Toxic; by the time you reach this step, you would have identified toxic traits. We fail to let go half of the time because we might miss the routine or we don’t want to feel alone. Understanding that its toxic and you need to protect your energy is what helps you through this stage. Removing yourself from a company of people that drain you doesn’t make you rude or a bad person, instead it makes you sure of who you are and what you want. Sixth step, Be kind to yourself; tell yourself good things everyday, you’re beautiful, You matter, you’re loved, you’re needed, you have a purpose in life. Seventh step, See beauty in the simple things; God has hidden Glory in his creation for you to marvel at his beauty. Everything has detail and if you see things from an eye of beauty, you will find yourself being filled with joy everyday. The last step is Put yourself first; nothing should come at the cost of your mental health or well being. Anything that is threatening your state of mind or heart or comfortability should not be given a chance to enter your world.
Fortunately, the journey of self love is what helps with getting to self care and self growth. It brings about peace within because you are not expecting love or care from humans that can change or leave. It is a stepping stone to becoming emotionally and mentally independent.
